FROM THE DAWGHOUSE…
Grateful for the responsibility of being a man
I was married for 34 years, until death do us part. I knew God frowned on divorce, and we kept it together while the kids were growing up despite the sadness we were causing each other. My job as a trauma surgeon in a small group meant many nights in the OR with a full regular schedule as a general and vascular surgeon the next day. I tried to be as involved in the kids’ stuff as possible when I was home and I’m sure that contributed to less time with my wife. And after the kids were grown and gone, we spent 6 years of weekly Christian counseling trying to mend what we had messed up over the years. Both of us realized how much pain we had caused each other. After a 2-year separation, we divorced, and she moved to another state.
I never expected to go through marriage again, and my divorce gave me more time to study about my Jesus, and what he wanted me to learn from this season of my life. My children and my church had been incredibly supportive, which really was wonderful. No one assigned blame or disappointment, just genuine love, which really helped the healing.
I got a call from a nurse who invited me and my wife to a reunion of old co-workers in the hospital. I told her I was separated but thanked her for the invite. Several months later we met for a drink. She had been a divorced mother of a special needs child for twenty years, and I wanted to ask her how she had handled being single. She too had met Jesus and immersed herself in her church. She had made a promise never again to be involved with someone who did not love Christ more than himself. I tried to not think about spending more time with someone whose interests were so close to mine. But we both realized God had given both of us a second chance to do it right this time.
After I went to her church and she went to mine for a time, we felt that maybe we should just start together in another church that didn’t treat one of us like a visitor. We have read through several bible-in-a-year plans together for the last three years which has been amazing. We pray together every day which I should have done years ago. I think we both realize what caused our failed marriages, and we openly talk about being intentional in our relationship. My second chance marriage to a remarkable woman has been more of a blessing than I could ever imagine.
Blessings brothers…
John “Rob” Roberson
FORGE, Maitland
