FROM THE DAWGHOUSE…
Desperate for Approval?
Have you ever been desperate to gain the approval of other people?
Have strong, tsunami-like feelings ever welled up in your heart that scream that you are being unjustly criticized, that you are unappreciated and you feel…feel it powerfully, viscerally, painfully…loneliness and emptiness? Ever actually experienced being starving emotionally for someone, anyone, another human being to tell you that they are on your side, that you are worthwhile? Have you ever been so desperate for approval that you would scratch and claw to get it?
A king I know felt that way many times. And I have felt that way too. It’s awful.
The King I’m referring to is David who seemed an unlikely candidate for such feelings. Successful, handsome, strong, gifted, talented, in the prime of life as he was, he felt all alone and empty sometimes. Life can put a man like you and me in the crosshairs of satanic attack, like David was, and in a New York minute drain our self-confidence and joy.
Put yourself in David’s situation right now:
“Save me, O God, For the waters have threatened my life. 2 I have sunk in deep mire, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me. 3 I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; My eyes fail while I wait for my God. 4 Those who hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of my head; Those who would destroy me are powerful, being wrongfully my enemies; What I did not steal, I then have to restore.”
Psalm 69:1-4
So compelling was this Psalm to me today that I read it several times. When you’re having your DAWG you never know what the Holy Spirit will focus you on, but you can be sure that He will take you where you need to go.
Maybe you need to mull over this chapter like I did. Read and underline it…see how David processed his desperate manly need for approval.
I’m not going to spoil all of the fun (yes fun- ok joy if you prefer that word) of walking with David in his pain, but I’ll tell you that resolving your pain always involves being honest with it with your Heavenly Father, centering your attention on His supremacy, and finding your identity again and having it reinforced in Christ.
Here’s how we can pray after David’s honesty leverages us to the New Testament cross work of Jesus:
“Well Father and my Lord Jesus, I’m feeling something of what David is experiencing right now. I want people sometimes to fill my emotional cup and determine my worth. Why do I always think people can do that? It never works out. Well, I repent of that tendency now; I actually hate being dependent on people and would rather be dependent on You for my worth but it’s not natural for me yet. But here I go, Lord Jesus thank you for doing all you did in Your death, burial and resurrection! Thank You Holy Spirit for bringing me to Jesus! Thank You that I’m Your deeply loved and redeemed son and that’s all the worth and status I really need. Help me to see my high status and be fueled by that status and not fueled by what people think…today, help me to get to this freedom. And I’ll seek it from You tomorrow for tomorrow. Ah, this is a good place to be! In Your Holy Name Jesus I pray, Amen!”
Taking it to heart with you,
Pete Alwinson
