FROM THE DAWGHOUSE…
Being a Father to Give Thanks About
It’s Thanksgiving Day and I give thanks to all of you brothers of FORGE! You are a gift to me and to your families and to so many others!
Know that the Father loves you big time today and give thanks to Him for your impossibly high status as His beloved son because of Jesus!
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Here’s how I read Proverbs … ”a chapter a day keeps stupidity away” is my motto …
And so I read the chapter of the day (almost every day – I miss some) and then go back to the verses that really strike me as what the Father wants me to focus on for that day.
Here’s what hit me on November 17:
“Grandchildren are the crown of old men,
And the glory of sons is their fathers.”
Proverbs 17:6 NASB
The ESV version in the first stanza says: “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged” implying men and women.
Now Proverbs operates on the basis of, “These statements are true most of the time. This is how life works and is supposed to work. All things being equal, this IS the case.”
And so it is true about the fact that most grandparents, men and women, find their grandchildren delightful, a crown on their heads so to speak. You’ve seen the bumper sticker: “Ask me about my grandchildren!” There can be a special bond between grandparent and grandchild because the GP doesn’t have to be the heavy any more, he can spoil the gkids, he or she can be an ally with the gkid and love on the kid unconditionally. A GP merely has to manage his crankiness and not let it show too much and he can be fairly close with his gkids. And when the gkid is a hot mess, they can smile and say inwardly, “Well, the chickens have come home to roost” and let their son or daughter clean up the debacle.
I have 5 gkids to date. More to come I suspect. They’re better than yours.
That being said, what really gripped me today was the second line:
“…And the glory of sons is their fathers.”
Ok, remember how Proverbs operates? “Normally this is true”. So, yes, it can be true that “the glory of sons is their fathers.” But it is decidedly and patently and demonstratively not true ALL of the time.
From my observations to date, it may not be true most of the time.
Many men feel ambivalent at the funeral and memory of their dads. They don’t know what to feel, angry, sad, proud. Ambivalence is having mixed and unclear feelings.
Some men are downright ticked at their dad and don’t want to talk about him.
A few glory in their dads.
I’ve read this Proverb before for sure, but today the Holy Spirit made me stop and ask, “What can make me be a glory to my sons?” Other ways of putting this:
“What can make my sons proud of me? What can make them want to learn from me? What will make them feel good to introduce me to their friends or their clients if I run into them? To talk about me as they enter into the business world? What will make my sons (children – I have a daughter too!) bask in in the shadow of being my son or daughter? What will keep my kids from cringing when they think of me when I’m gone, and make them smile and be glad instead?”
These are worthy questions I think. Here are some of my answers … please think this through and add your own!
I can be a source of glory for my children, if …
- I have raised them with a loving and firm hand and taught them how to be a man/woman who lives before God as well as how to be successful in the real world.
- I have modeled grace and the Gospel with them.
- I have been a good husband and modeled love and faithfulness to their mother.
- I have been a hard worker and built a decent living, business, or source of income that provided adequately for the family.
- I have a good reputation in our church family.
- I have a good reputation in our community so that when they are “out there” in the real world, the family name reflects well on them and does not bring shame on them. When my name might even open up opportunities for them.
- I have blessed my children, affirming my sons as real men for others to emulate and my daughter as a gifted and truly feminine and strong role model for other younger women to take note of.
- I have modeled Biblical manhood, and not been an angry fighter but not a push over either. If it is known that I sought to follow Jesus and lead my family well. If my sons have a model of manhood to build their own manhood on, and my daughter has a model of the type of man she would want to marry.
- I end my life aging well, being productive, avoiding foolishness, crankiness, self-absorption and am continually growing and being in ministry and service to God and others.
Here are some verses to go and check out:
Ephesians 6:4 … Colossians 3:21 … ya, these are for us dads.
Confession … at Thanksgivings in the future when I’m in Heaven, I want my kids to give thanks for being the deeply beloved sons and daughters of the Most High God first. Some time during that day, I’d like for them to feel that my fatherhood helped them accept God’s better Fatherhood and that they are enjoying being His kids and enjoyed being my kids too.
That means I can’t stop growing at being a father.
If I want to be a glory to my sons, I have to be … well, great as God defines greatness. That means being like Jesus.”
Happy Thanksgiving … You take it to Heart!
Pete Alwinson
Pass this on if you think it might help!
