FROM THE DAWGHOUSE…
RAISING KIDS
I had lunch recently with a friend who has young children and he asked me if I had any advice about child rearing. I laughed. I’m far past young kids. Like me, he has a son and daughter.
The first thing I said was that there is a big difference between boys and girls…just in case he hadn’t realized that yet. He said he did, sort of, but asked what I meant.
I said, well, boys are kind of like pets. You feed them and they’re happy. If they get upset, they get mad for a few seconds and then they wag their tail like nothing ever happened. Girls on the other hand, if they get upset at you, there is a three-day waiting period before you’re allowed to even look their way. It’s mind boggling. I love them the same, my son and daughter, but it’s different at the same time.
There is something very unique and something very special about a relationship between a father and his daughter – those of you who have a daughter know what I mean. My girl had me, and still has me, wrapped around her finger.
I told my friend that I began to recognize very early on that the evil one attacks our girls in ways that we guys can’t necessarily understand. Girls are losing themselves every day over what size they are supposed to be, what they are supposed to look like and what the world sees as the standard for them.
It kind of freaked me out.
I’ve seen my daughter when she was super young watching commercials on TV (I guess that is why she got into the advertising agency business like me) and being convinced that she would be meaningless unless she owned what was being advertised. She’d say, “did you see that? I need to buy it. All my friends have it.”
I’m like, you’re 5. You have 3 friends. Right? It’s cute. It is.
But I knew there was going to be a time when the world was going to come crashing in and would begin pulling at my daughter from every direction.
As a man of faith, it was unnerving.
I wanted my daughter (and my son) to have the confidence that I didn’t necessarily have when I was 5 or even 15. It made me think, what would I say to myself if I could go back and talk to the 10-year-old version of me. Then my wife reminded me that well, with my kids, I was looking in the mirror. I could talk to the younger me If I really wanted to.
I wasn’t quite sure if that was comforting or not, to tell you the truth. Yet I took it to heart.
I told my friend that the one thing I wanted my son and daughter to know was that the God who created the universe thinks they are both the most beautiful thing He ever created. Of course, I got the eyeroll and the “yeah, you have to say that”.
But it’s true!
And by the way, it’s true about you and your kids as well. How cool is that?
I wanted them to understand that fully!
If you have kids, you know that there are many times in their lives that they seem isolated from their parents. I remember saying to my kids, I don’t know exactly what you’re going through personally. Or the things you’ve done, or that have been done to you. But I can tell you with all my heart, with 100% conviction, that Christ is BIGGER than anything you are going through. And that if I am wrong, I’ll just stay wrong.
To give them an example, I told them that there are too many people in the church who have this bad habit of carrying guilt and shame as if it is a permanent part of them. IT IS NOT! And it was never meant to be. The enemy has a full-time job telling you that you are disqualified…that because of whatever you’ve done, you just shouldn’t bother… that there are much godlier people who can do this kingdom stuff, and you’ve lost your chance.
THAT IS NOT THE GOSPEL!!!!
If you know Jesus Christ…if you truly know Jesus Christ, you don’t look at yourself as someone who is bad trying to be good. Rather, you look at yourself as a saint! As holy! As righteous! As redeemed!
Yes, you will have days where you will wrestle with the flesh – you will win some and lose some. But it will NEVER change how Jesus Christ sees you. That’s the beauty of it. That’s what the cross has done. The power of sin exists, and you will still sin…but it no longer has the power to separate us from Christ.
That should blow our mind!
If I had understood that as a kid, things would be different. Right? Well maybe.
Know this…
Jesus Christ has me, and you, exactly where He wants me and you to be. Don’t question His plan. You are where you should be. Believe it.
Blessings to you all,
Joe Bouch
FORGE Winter Springs
